Sunday, November 6, 2011

R.I.P these 27 men above plus 2 more.

29 lifes that did not deserve to get taken from my wee home town greymouth.. nearly been a year and we are all still suffering, im asking every one of you that read this personally, too light a candle on the 19th of this month for these 29 much loved miners that passed away. and as for you Joseph Dunbar, (first row, seventh across) i will praying for you and hoping you are safe up there, 17 years old and your first day under, such a waste of a beautiful beautiful friend of many including myself. R.I.P boys, gone.. but NEVER forgotten. ♥

Thursday, November 3, 2011

love? you say it. but do you really mean it. do you even know what love is. no. you dont. you chuck it around like a bouncy ball that will eventually get lost in the dirt, then you forget about it and you dont give a fuck and you go buy a new one. i get it. everyone deserves a chance at love. real love. but until you're ready to give this person your life, promise to love them til death do you part. i will lol at you, cause you'll be "totally inlove" with 5 other guys in under a year. lol.

Monday, October 24, 2011

fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck im so mad.
why are people so stupid.
if you're gonna act like a dipshit,
ill treat ya like one.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Trust no player,
fear no bitch.
Give no pussy,
Suck no dick.
People play games,
and are full of shit.
Play the role and
be the baddest bitch.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011


might go get my eyebrows waxed. js.
keen to dye my hair.

i get paid tomorrow.
5'hundy. coooome to mama!


Monday, October 17, 2011

- oh btw i found my wallet the day after i had a lil cry about it. mwahahaha.

i got a job a few weeks ago. yee son. gonna be raking in the cash. shoes here i come :D

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Thursday, September 22, 2011

i lost my wallet today. i can't stop worrying. my whole life is in there. its going to take months to get all my cards back. i can't stop thinking about it.. just thinking about somebody walking around with my wallet, my IDs and everything. creep. i guess i just hate the idea of my personal details being out there, somewhere. out of my control. im a very very private person. im freaking out..

Monday, August 29, 2011

I was just a kid!! You know what you did. It wasn't just one of you, it was all of you! It wasnt okay to abandon me when i was 8 years old. I wasnt the one that got divorced, i didnt divorce you?!?  And then you think its okay to contact me 10 years later. You are not my family anymore!! You all make me sick. How could you. I WAS JUST A KID.

Friday, July 29, 2011

"when something happens to someone else, people often use the word 'unbearable'. living through a childs death, a spouses, enduring some other kind of permanent loss - its unbearable, its too awful to be borne, and the person or people to whom it's happened take on a kind of horrible glow in your mind, because they are in fact bearing it, or trying to: doing the thing thats impossible to do. The glow can be blinding at first - it can be all you see - and although it diminishes as years pass it never goes out entirely, so that late some night when you are wandering the back pathways of your mind you may stop at the sudden sight of someone up ahead, signalling even now with a faint but terrible light"

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

i am so so proud of you (: you achieved what you shouldve done a long time ago, but you did it. never let anyone like that ever bring you down, because youre better than that x

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Friday, July 8, 2011

follow your dreams, and follow your heart. because if you don't, you'll just find yourself worlds apart <3

" i don't have a drinking problem, the only problem i have is the fact that i can't afford it"

crap. i havent used this thing in donkey years, its good to be back (: i've just been real busy with course. i've made real good friends there, actual amazing. aand my friends from uni have been back home for the last 2 weeks :D i've missed them sosososo much, so its been so nice having them back, getting our draaaank on. i don't want them to leave, waa D;

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

so, i now have no faith in the new zealand government, whatsoever. i never really have, when they starting spending taxpayers money for luxury trips to the tropics and to pay for their 20 off bodyguards that they do not need, i started doubting them, and now my doubts are jusified.

article one..
"what national stands for"
- regular tax reductions
- valuing families
(yeah, cause cutting tax credits from "higher paid families" with no definiton of what they understand higher paid families actually is. thats REALLY valuing families in this economic crisis. you go national!)

- building opportunity for all
- encouraging ambition
(yes, because cutting kiwisaver funds, making members pay more, and tightening student loan eligibility. thats really going to make students more ambitious and confident about studying to further their careers!!)

fuck. hypocrits say what.

Friday, May 13, 2011

dear human development essay.
you suck.
from nicole.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Her hair was up in a pony tail, her favorite dress tied with a bow. Today was Daddy's Day at school, and she couldn't wait to go. But her mommy tried to tell her, that she probably should stay home. Why the kids might not understand, if she went to school alone. But she was not afraid; she knew just what to say. What to tell her classmates of why he wasn't there today. But still her mother worried, for her to face this day alone. And that was why once again, she tried to keep her daughter home. But the little girl went to school eager to tell them all. About a dad she never sees, a dad who never calls. There were daddies along the wall in back, for everyone to meet. Children squirming impatiently, anxious in their seats One by one the teacher called a student from the class. To introduce their daddy, as seconds slowly passed. At last the teacher called her name, every child turned to stare. Each of them was searching, a man who wasn't there. "Where's her daddy at?" she heard a boy call out. "She probably doesn't have one," another student dared to shout. And from somewhere near the back,  she heard a daddy say, "Looks like another deadbeat dad, too busy to waste his day." The words did not offend her, as she smiled up at her Mom. And looked back at her teacher, who told her to go on. And with hands behind her back, slowly she began to speak. And out from the mouth of a child, came words incredibly unique. "My Daddy couldn't be here, because he lives so far away. But I know he wishes he could be, since this is such a special day. And though you cannot meet him, I wanted you to know. All about my daddy, and how much he loves me so. He loved to tell me stories, he taught me to ride my bike. He surprised me with pink roses, and taught me to fly a kite. We used to share fudge sundaes, and ice cream in a cone. And though you cannot see him. I'm not standing here alone. "Cause my daddy's always with me, even though we are apart. I know because he told me, he'll forever be in my heart" With that, her little hand reached up, and lay across her chest. Feeling her own heartbeat, beneath her favorite dress. And from somewhere here in the crowd of dads, her mother stood in tears. Proudly watching her daughter, who was wise beyond her years. For she stood up for the love of a man not in her life. Doing what was best for her, doing what was right. And when she dropped her hand back down, staring straight into the crowd. She finished with a voice so soft, but its message clear and loud. "I love my daddy very much, he's my shining star. And if he could, he'd be here, but heaven's just too far. You see he was a policeman and died just this past year. When airplanes hit the towers and taught Americans to fear. But sometimes when I close my eyes, it's like he never went away." And then she closed her eyes, and saw him there that day. And to her mothers amazement, she witnessed with surprise. A room full of daddies and children, all starting to close their eyes. Who knows what they saw before them, who knows what they felt inside. Perhaps for merely a second, they saw him at her side. "I know you're with me Daddy," to the silence she called out. And what happened next made believers, of those once filled with doubt. Not one in that room could explain it, for each of their eyes had been closed.  But there on the desk beside her, was a fragrant long-stemmed pink rose And a child was blessed, if only for a moment, by the love of her shining star. And given the gift of believing, that heaven is never too far. They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them. <3

Monday, May 2, 2011

today was a relatively good day. i slept in, which i desperately needed :) woke up went to the gym and them met my mum her friend and her daughter in town. i bought jordis a pen from sguiggle haha. brought myself some real cool clothes, went to my beauticians for a wax and had jordis and lockie jumping all over me haha. then came home and laxxed :) but i seriously need to get started on my ?holiday assignment :/ tomorrow i plan on buying some bracelets and getting my mother her mothers day present. even thought the weather is shiiiiiiiiiiiiit. whats your problem hawkes bay.

these are my new shoes that i bought for $20.00. i loveee them :D

Saturday, April 30, 2011

we got given a holiday assignment for course, and we have to make a poster about our life journey, how we got to where we are today. this is by far the most awkward assignment i've ever done. because i'm not going to sugar-coat my life. but theres a whole 4 years unaccounted for. a whole 4 years that i have just blocked out of my mind. and i can't explain that.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

sometimes when im at the gym and im tired and just plain cant be fucked, i picture your face, and how bad i wish you didnt have one, and i can go non-stop for 30 minutes. maybe you are useful afterall.

Friday, March 11, 2011

love; when i finish course, catch the bus home and hear a bunch of 14 year olds.. 'yeah bro i smashed her, i told him i wouldnt, but i told him i wouldnt cheat on him either'. i've never had more faith in the youth of today.
haii guiiz.......
i'll see you up there.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

i envy those girls who can wear a singlet, and not have to worry about their boobs falling out. hahhaha, fml.
i always feel awkward when i finish course early and walk through town to get home. like today, i was walking through town at 1.30, i saw a whole bunch of napier boys high students in mcdonalds, and various other kids in their uniform walking through town. IT WAS 1.30! its like theres no such thing as school anymore, or education! i learn about the importance about having a good education at my course, so this stuff kinda pisses me off. ha.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

just a weekend one. pleeease, why won't anyone give me a weekend job ?! cos' everyone in napier are tightarses. i just need a job for a few hours on a saturday and sunday ): its not like i'll be there annoying them on the weekdays. ahha. wish me luck?

back to course tomorrow. im actually kinda excited.. lol weirdo.

Monday, March 7, 2011

sooo these are picture of my room as of now.. as you can see, my sexy harry potter books and my brownie sash ;D this is just a form of motivation for me to be real ocd and tidy my room, so ill post some pictures when im done :)

i found these photos on my camera tonight.. from a few weeks ago when it was art deco weekend. every year they do a show with the planes. and i didn't even need to go to the beachfront to watch it, i could see it right from my doorstep. i couldnt take very good photos cause' they were going soo fast. but i caught some glimpses. it was actually amazing.


yus, i brought my hair dye today. brilliance number 85 violet vision. ma faaave :) i'm going to dye it tomorrow. im so exciteeeed, hahah my hair is ranga as right now. so after tomorrow, no more ranga-ness! hopefully it stops raining tomorrow. the weather is so depressing ): i need to figure out what to do for 5 days a week for the next month, cause' i only have 2 days of course a week until i start my work ex next month. and theres nothing to do on my days off cause all my friends have gone to uni or go to eit, so pretty much i have no friends. wooo.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

it's 10.55pm and its still freezing cold! i've been covered up in my leavers jersey, ug-boots and my mink blanket all day :3 haha. i hope its not this cold tomorrow :\ i live in hawkes bay! i don't think that my body is made to adjust to this kinda weather.

Friday, March 4, 2011

i am so happy its the weekend. time to relaxxxx :D

Thursday, March 3, 2011

i made sweet 'n' sour chicken for dinner! i swear it tasted exactly the same as the deep fried stuff you buy at greasy chinese takeaways. I AM AMAZING.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

had my first day at course today. it was..different. but i like it :) we had to do reading and writing tests :L i felt like i was at school again! theres only like 12 people in my class, but its weird not having my friends to be silly with..

i miss my friends. i wish they didnt have to leave ); xx<3
starting course this morning :$ wish me luck!

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

I applied for a student loan today :) hopefully i don't have too much of a debt by the end of the year :/

i then walked up bluff hill, and found a seperate reserve i hadn't been up before. I WAS SO EXCITED. 

I start course tomorrow morning at 9am. I'm kinda nervous. I hate those meet n greet name games tell me something about yourself. >:|

Monday, February 28, 2011

yuuuus, dentist is over :) when i got home, i looked in my handbag and found a random prezzy card filled with $20.00. i was freeeaking out! i thought i was magic or something. but then i called my mama and she said she put it in there.. haha weirdo. i'm so relieved i don't have a stalker on my hands.
dentist today D;
i'm pretty keen for it to be over so i can start putting sugar in my cereal again hahahah.. i've been getting addicted to sugar-free gum. i have to catch an hour long bus today.. gr. buttt in the meantime, im going shopping for a new dress :DD

Sunday, February 27, 2011

so i havent been on here in ages, but i've decided to start using it again (: so i deleted all my old posts and im starting freshh.

i had an interview with my tutor from workforce development, and i got into my course. yay (: i'm doing a youth work course, and ill have class every thursday and friday, and ill be doing work experience on mondays tuesdays and wednesdays. i'm so excitedd. i've been shopping for new stationary, i used to love it when i was in high school. aha, obsessed. but on the downside, i have to go to the dentist tomorrow D;

well i'm going to go sunbathe and read my book. ciao.